Posts from — January 2008

Ok, the final part of this crazy long series. Like I said in Part 2, I am very thankful for Nate’s openness in their story and for what God has done in my own heart and story because of it. Here’s my personal story and response to it all.

Emily and I have been friends for over 12 years. We were paired in our student ministry as Big Sister and Little Sister when she was in 7th grade and I was a sophomore in high school. My role was to help her adjust to being in the student ministry and be a friend and someone to talk to when she was there. I loved it and I of course chose her as my little sister because we shared the same name. I knew we would be great friends when our high school girls kidnapped the 7th grade girls really early in the morning and took them to eat at McDonald’s. Her not so lovely demeanor, frustration, and stubbornness about the whole thing won me over. I was the exact same way!

Throughout high school, our relationship developed into not only a deeper discipleship relationship but truly we had a wonderful friendship too. We would have Sonic dates all the time and talk about what God was doing in our hearts and lives, pray together, and as time went on, she began to share what she was struggling with in her fight with CF. I remember one very significant conversation on the phone when the fears of the future, the what ifs, and the whys were very heavy on her heart. As God was working in me to love and disciple her, I knew I was way out of my league. Thankfully, as God was working in me, I truly began to see that in my weakness, and in Emily’s weakness, HE is strong. Her physical struggles were a roller coaster just like the emotional, mental, and spiritual battles she was facing. I was thankful to be there all along the way and walk through life with her. The discipleship relationship really changed places too. Her faith, her journey, her struggles were teaching me more about who Christ is and His love and power than most anything else. And I am forever grateful.

We both married a few years later and were bridesmaids in each others weddings. I don’t have time to tell you the cool God stories in all of this but Jason, Emily’s husband, is such an amazing gift from God for her! Our friendship deepened drastically and although we ended up moving to different cities, we still maintained a very significant friendship. For many seasons, we have talked on the phone daily and if not weekly…something that is hard to maintain in any friendship much less long distance.

Although I rarely use the term “best friend” [because my husband truly is and I don’t like the exclusivity of the term...maybe I hang around high school girls or something ] but Emily is the epitome of what that means. She is the person besides Daniel who knows me best and who I know best and we take advantage of that. With the closeness of friendship, also comes the greater risk. I have realized over the past several years, just how much Emily means to me and how much my life is enriched by her presence in it. I can’t imagine living life without her.

Over the past few years, we have both had many conversations along these lines. When she became pregnant (a perfect gift from God NOT a mistake for not being careful enough), the reality of the risks was daunting. As she dealt with the many, many, many decisions, scenarios, and what ifs, not to mention the physical struggles, my role to pray, encourage, listen, and uphold became joyfully difficult. As God brought her daughter into the world and blessed Emily with the days to raise her, the new struggles of the urgent need for new lungs developed. The urgent need is still there and the wait is on.

How do you walk beside someone who is going through such a thing? How do you acknowledge realities and live in hope without being naive? How do you use words when words seem to fall so short? How do you handle your own fears while trying to help someone else with theirs? How do you hold the gifts that God has given you with an open hand when everything in you screams to keep your fist closed around it? I did not know the answers to any of these questions but somehow, someway God continues to use our friendship in both of our lives for encouragement and support. I love you Em. Beyond all words, I love you, I am eternally grateful for you and your friendship, and my life is forever changed because of you.

The LBD Dual Significance: So wrapping this back around to Nate’s blog, God has used his words and their story to help heal my heart in some ways. Emily is a very private person and her circumstances, although similar to Tricia’s, are different. In riding the roller coaster ride with her through specifically the past three years, there have been many things I have felt, wanted to say or acknowledge, or just been processing that were difficult to communicate because the words just weren’t there or the timing just wasn’t right. It also seems to be that I am far away when something happens rather than my normal two hour drive to her. I missed the birth because we were in Hawaii and seem to always be traveling when she gets a call for the lung transplant. For anyone that has lived similar circumstances, it is so difficult to not be there. It’s not like you can do anything but just to be there is so important. And the fears that I have battled about my own what ifs are much harder to battle when I’m not there. And by not being there in those moments, the emotional journey is somewhat unresolved.

So thanks to Nate being open and vulnerable and sharing his story. But it’s not Nate, it’s Christ in Nate that is doing something incredible. By reading His words, many times, it’s like I am reading my own thoughts from a few years back and able to heal some in the process. I’m also excited to see someone who is walking through circumstances like he is, speak the way he is speaking, even if it is just him processing his thoughts. It is a much needed perspective and reminds me of many conversations that Em and I have.

So these are my thoughts that I am processing related to all of this. I’ve felt pretty jumbled through this whole thing (sorry!) but it is also important to me to get this out there since it has been almost a week since the others have been up. Nobody is perfect this side of heaven and the blogging world will not be perfect either. I’m not expecting that, I’m just working through it in my own life, in my own weaknesses and struggles. And at the end of the day when all is said and done, I go back to 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 and pray that my life would look more like this: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

The catapult that started me writing about this subject most recently was a blog that I started reading (www.cfhusband.blogspot.com). A good friend sent me the link because she knew I would be interested in it from my own story with my friend Emily who has CF. And, she was right! Before I go any further, let me say that I have asked permission from Emily to share this and the CF Husband from the other website has also given permission through his blog to post about it.

Here is the summary of the CF Husband’s blog:
My name is Nathan. My wife, Tricia has Cystic Fibrosis (CF) and had been preparing for a double lung transplant until we discovered we were pregnant. Tricia is the most incredible person I’ve ever met. She keeps me humble and in love. Gwyneth is our beautiful, new, baby girl, born 15+ weeks early. Tricia is on her way back onto the transplant list, and Gwyneth is on her way out of the NICU and into our hearts. This is our story from my perspective…

Here is the summary of Emily’s story:
Emily, who was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis at 3 months and Jason, her husband, started to look into a lung transplant but that evaluation was put on hold because of the beautiful surprise of pregnancy. It was a mix of emotions since Emily had been told all of her life that she probably would not be able to get pregnant and that it would be a dangerous endeavor for her. God had other plans. About 3 months after the birth of their daughter, Emily’s lung collapsed for the first time, she was hospitalized several times, and continued to have a rapid decline. In June of 2007, the news came that they not only made the double lung transplant list, but were #2 in line for her blood type. She has since had 4 dry runs and is still waiting for new lungs. Since her journey began, it has been a roller coaster of blessings, periods of frustration, and a whole lot of waiting on what God
has next. The faith that she and Jason have, is certainly
enriching ours.

As you can see, and if you read further, there are many similarities. Part 2 is about blogging and Part 3 is about my personal thoughts related to these stories. I first wanted to give you the intro.

So, Part 2…about the blogging side of it. As I read Nate’s posts to get up to date on what was going on, I immediately made the connection to all that he was going through and my Emily’s story. I emailed him just to let him know I was praying for them and to mention Emily in case her journey could be a resource for them. Emily had mentioned several times during her pregnancy of her desire to talk to someone who had lived through what she was going through in her stage of the disease. It was be awesome to see God use their stories for mutual encouragement.

However, as I started to read some comments on the blog and then read the posts that Nathan began to write about some of the comments, I began to see what the end of Part 1 was all about. I’ve seen this on many different sites in the Christian community and it usually is related to a situation that is very difficult, that the future is uncertain, and where the sovereignty of God is called into question because of the pain involved (terminal illness, tragic death of a loved one, death of an infant or child, adoption, etc). As a side note, it is also amazing how many people who do not know Christ are involved in reading these blogs too and how they immediately become evangelistic just because of the essence of the story. It’s also amazing how many people have the “perfect advice” for any given situation that they are going through.

There is also the reality TV side of the blog. I think people have even ‘demanded’ updates from Nathan like we would ‘demand’ a new episode of The Office during the writers strike. People are tuning in and checking their readers often. I am keeping up to date too after being behind for several days. But, the truth is, and this is blunt, once the ‘drama’ dies down, most of us will quit reading. It could partly be because of lack of posts but could it also be that the reading isn’t “as good” as it once was when things move on.

The LBD Dual Significance: Maybe I’m off here but as human beings, we seem to be attracted to the drama of a situation rather than the truth of it. We want to gasp at Satan’s evil schemes rather than wrestling with the sovereignty of God in painful situations. We want to sympathize with someone who is going through our worst fear and be thankful that it’s them and not us and maybe even wonder what they did to cause it to happen rather than trusting God’s sovereignty and that there are many things that are finite brains do not know or understand. My hope is that everyone who reads, is thinking, is praying, is wrestling. I hope that if you comment you think about what you say, you mean it when you say you will pray, and that your focus would be on how awesome God is.

I have admired Nate’s responses as he battles these comments, perceptions, judgments, and opinions. He is also giving due praise to the King of Kings in the midst of it all and not allowing Satan to get credit for the amazing things that God is doing. And although some may say that it is because his girls are both still living, I believe that the God he serves is with Him and is living out exactly what Ephesians 3 is talking about (see end of Part 1). And no matter what God’s plan is in the midst of it all, He is faithful, present, loving, and righteous and from reading Nathan’s thoughts, I am confident that he knows this and is resting in that truth and the life of Christ in him.

I also know that Nate is being very open and vulnerable with their story, a choice that they are making. I personally am very thankful (see Part 3) but it definitely is not the easiest road to take to retain your privacy. However, it appears that Nathan has a bigger vision than retaining their privacy and just surviving in the moments they are living right now. And I hope and pray that whatever that vision is, that He, his family, his community, the world, and Christ would be blessed because of it. It seems like it is already happening.

The Sovereignty of God: For further reading and listening on the sovereignty of God check out the following site and scroll down to the bottom section about Bruce Ware. There are articles as well as two sermons that he presented at Fellowship. He has also written a book titled God’s Greater Glory. I’m not even sure I agree with everything he says in all of this (I might, I just can’t remember) but I do remember it being profound in my wrestling and understanding of God’s sovereignty.

P.S. I know I don’t blog like I am supposed to. Something about being brief and easy to read in 5 minutes with lots of tags so you can pick and choose what you want to read, etc. (By the way, I think there is danger in reading this way. You may really miss what the author is trying to convey. Another blog post, another day.) Mine do look longer than they actually are because of how my page is formated and the size of my text (I’m thinking about changing this when and if I move to wordpress), but I really don’t care that much to make it convenient for you. Gosh, I’m ornery today but I’m not in a bad mood!

This Virtual Reality post is actually one of three or four at the moment. Part 1 was me shortening my thoughts from the whole post!!! I’m wordy and I’m thorough. I’ve never denied that. Part 2 and 3 will come soon, I’ve just run out of time to complete them today but I’m telling you this to force myself to complete it. I’ve wanted to write the content of Part 1 since before I mentioned it on my Funk post back in September, then titled The Net Community. So stay tuned, in a non-reality TV kind of way. Actually, if I was a reality TV show, my ratings would probably be so bad it would be kicked off the air! Just kidding…ok ornery to a bad joke. I better stop for the day!

P.P.S. I’m pretty sure the mice are gone. I haven’t heard them and I bet their frozen if they aren’t poisoned. Yeah!

Since I spend a lot of time with teenagers, the online, virtual, myspace/facebook culture is a reality. I think I could get away with staying out of the virtual community at my age but then I would just be uncool. But, working with teenagers forces me to engage it if I want to be apart of their lives and understand the world in which they live. I have also heard many a sermon about the online culture whether its about pornography from the “Big Church” pulpit or about “being real” or simply “being where you are” in a student ministry setting when technology gives them an easy, easy way to never live in the moment.

It seems like almost everything I am hearing the Church discuss has to do with the negativity and the sin that is possible through the virtual world which to me, sends the picture that the Church views online community as almost inherently bad. I think that it is a huge mistake and if all we are talking about is ‘caution’, we are missing a huge cultural change and opportunity. Caution is needed, but so is spiritually intelligent curiosity and exploration.

Major Ian W. Thomas in The Saving Life of Christ writes this in the context of Israel in the old testament: “Let me remind you again that nothing is good or bad by virtue of what it is. It is good or bad only by virtue of its origin…” I didn’t agree with this statement at first until he explained on the next page what he meant by ‘origin’: “…they were unable to discern between the genuinely good, with its origin in God, and the evil in the “good,” which has its origin in Satan.” To me, this perfectly describes the Internet and in some ways perfectly describes the world’s (including the Church) lack of discernment in using this technological marvel. What is so different about the invention of the telephone and the invention of the internet?

Ok, the focus of this post is not just about the internet but about the online communities within. There has been lots of discussion about the virtual world being a place to escape, hide, be someone your not, replace authentic relationships, or live a made up life. Sure, with just the right mix of relational issues, the flesh, and Satan’s schemes, all of these are possible and likely. However, there is just as much potential for encouragement, expression, edification, equipping, and genuine relationship. We have to choose to live in that potential.

2007 was really the first year I joined the virtual community. Of course, I’ve been online ever sense my first juno email account back in the early 90s but never really participated in community outside of checking sites of offline communities I was apart of. I started a blog for personal expression and started a facebook to enter the virtual world of my students. It was also a test to see if the negativity that I have heard from the Church was true in my own experience. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Here is what I have found:
* Most students are extremely real or as real as they are in real life if not more so (yes, even the students and adults for that matter who are taking the sexy pictures and posting party pics.) [Side Note: Do we really want to continue to communicate to the next generation of Christians to put on a facade and cover up your sinful actions/choices so that our Christian family still looks “Christian”? Which then allows “us” to still look good enough to judge the “others” who aren’t covering it up so well? I’m still trying to get this filth out of my own mind and praying that I don’t pass along an ounce of this to my students or, God-willing my kids. Yes, we need to be a witness. Yes, our sin affects the reputation of The Church. But does hiding and lying about it do any good? Does judging do any good?]
* The draw appears to be out of a desire for community rather than an aversion to it
* Students are more connected to the lives of their friends than I ever was and are able to respond quickly and with words rather than just physical touch or a shrug of the shoulders
* The blogging community is powerful for everything I mentioned above and more (encourage, equip, edify, etc)
* Opportunities to stay connected with old friends and to develop new friends (I did say friends…not just an online ‘buddy’) are more easily accessible
* Blogs are books for the 21st century and anyone can be an author
* There is more opportunity to hear what people are thinking about when otherwise, you would never know
* It is a great way to keep up with needs of those around you, to know the latest update to pray for, to get the word out about events and opportunities, and to support causes
* In our revolutionized, 21st century world, it really does provide a “place” for everyone to have their “space” and to have an opportunity to do something with it…at least if you live in the United States. Remember this is written from a little U.S. American perspective, not a third-world country perspective. That’s a whole different post. Maybe a whole different blog!

Here’s my thoughts on discerning the “evil in the good”:
* It is just as easy to be addicted to codependency, seeking affirmation, or keeping relational score in online communities as in offline scenarios
* It is easy to supplement or replace face to face community with virtual (This is what I am most aware of. If I have blogged about it, I have a tendency to not explain myself in person, but cut my conversation short and say “check my blog” when I am really bypassing a valuable face to face opportunity)
* Expressing yourself in text to an unseen audience leaves lots of room for error on both sides. It also takes time to get to know someone virtually whether you knew them previously or not.
* It can rule your life instead of being a resource or a tool
* It can be a replacement for Truth. Instead of reading The Book and seeking The Truth, it can easily become a search for what others think or become “The Book” in their life. I think we will really have to watch this as time goes on and continue to emphasize Christ in you and the supremacy of His Word as The Truth.
* It can be very easy to be a spectator and not a participant which can sometimes lead to an almost reality TV experience. You are not commenting or staying tuned to vote people off an island or off the show, see if Jack gets killed in the next episode, or see who The Bachelor chooses. It is not a soap opera; it is real people, real experiences, real life.
* You can be so moved or inspired by what you read, be so humbled by someone’s faith or circumstances, or be caught up in the deep emotions of someone else that you….do absolutely nothing!…unless you mean that you comment on how horrible their situation is, or how awesome their faith is, or how you will be praying for them because of how much you sympathize with them….instead of allowing Christ to work in you. He is not working in someone else just so you or I can sit and watch.

The LBD Dual Significance: I’m not saying that encouraging others or praying is doing nothing or that reading a blog secretly or often is wrong. I’m just concerned about the “evil in the good” of those who are living vicariously through someone else’s faith rather than their own. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever (Heb 13:8) and His same power and life is available to you and to me. Also, 2 Peter 1:3 “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence…” And that power has been given to us in order to live an amazing faith filled life that glorifies God.

Super Faith Blogger isn’t any better than you, me, or anyone else and we have the same power in Christ to all be Super Faith Bloggers (Or Super Faith Women, Moms, Wives, Husbands, Fathers, Teachers, Friends, etc) with our own God-stories and our journeys of faith. As one of my favorite people says, there are no Varsity Christians, just those that act like there should be. Let’s be sure that our pursuit of knowledge begins with the “knowledge of him who called us to His own glory and excellence” rather than the latest blog post. And let’s have confidence in Christ (IN me! IN you!) and trust that “He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.” (1 John 4:4)

This is my prayer for you (whoever you are) and for me. Thank you that we have LIFE in you Lord Jesus!:

Ephesians 3:14-21: For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

I had my first small town experience yesterday in our new locale. After having lunch at a friend’s house, I drove across the main road to a development that has some new stores open. I was just checking it out, when I saw another friend who I haven’t seen in probably 6 months or so getting her daughter out of the car. We had a brisk conversation, more because of the cold, and I drove on towards home. I decided to stop at the little public library in my small town to see if they had anything worthwhile. I am a avid reader these days and have run out of space to store anymore books and usually only read them once. As I pulled into the parking lot, I saw another friend who I have only seen very briefly in the Fellowship parking lot over the past two years. She gave me the library tour, I checked out a book and a DVD, and then followed her to her house in a nearby neighborhood. She gave me a tour, we caught up for about 15 minutes, and discussed walking plans for the warmer months. Then I drove home, passing the new elementary school on my way. I could really end up liking this place.

The LBD Dual Significance: I think I may call my small town The Lens (it has ‘lens’ in the spelling) and goes rather nicely with my dual significance blog…don’t ya think? Like a new view on life through The Lens? Or maybe I’ll call it The Vulle. The Ville with a George W. twang to it for the small town aspect. Hmmm….

* The count is at one. One mouse got stuck in a gooey trap but after a ferocious battle with the sticky stuff and lots of nibbling at the cardboard underneath, it escaped. No sightings to record.

* I may start drinking milk. My brother-in-law states “Milk keeps me skinny.” He is skinny and probably drinks more milk in a week than I have in my entire life combined. I don’t like milk. My brother was allergic to it and so growing up we had the endure the terrible tragedy of eating dry cereal. After that, my desire for milk diminished all together. But, if it help maintain a healthy weight or good health, I might consider trying to develop a taste for it. For now, I’m sticking with my lowfat vanilla yogurt and lowfat cottage cheese.

* As of yesterday at approximately 6:23 PM, Daniel and I have been married for 6 1/2 years. Yeah! I am amazed at all that God has done in us and through us together as a couple. Since we dated through high school, our half anniversary was a BIG deal, and we’ve kept the tradition a little bit. Halves are my responsibility, Fulls are Daniel’s. We had our first candlelight dinner in our new house last night and had a great time. Don’t watch the movie Waitress on an anniversary though. It is all about an affair and not very marriage affirming. We were hoping Andy Griffith would save the movie with his advice, but his role was very minimal.

* I included a picture of the house to show you a little bit how it is changing. I need to get another page together to show the progress through pictures.

* I’m having to really watch what I’m thinking about during my “get things done” time during the days. A lot of what I am doing has to do with finances, insurance, home improvement & pitfalls, and healthy eating and living and I’ve found myself being highly interested, attentive and concerned about all of these things. I’ve found that since I do not have a “real” job, I have more time to focus on more personal items which is a blessing but I can also see it becoming a curse with just the right twist of Satan and causing me to worry or stress about things (something I haven’t struggled with in awhile). Please pray for me in that. Here’s an example: I read an article about radon gas in homes and how bad it is. I suddenly felt the need to test for this and instantly felt tense about the air I was breathing. This is normally not like me.

* I’m reading a book that is really making me think and has a lot of observations that I have never thought of before about things that I think about a lot. I like that aspect. It is The Saving Life of Christ by Major W. Ian Thomas. The verdict is still out on what I think about the book overall but I’m enjoying the read.

* My foosball playing, Bohemian Rhapsody singing, junior high buddy, Sarah Rachel (sorry, I just outed you!) put a post on her blog about seasonal depression so I thought I would share my comment here and recommend another book:

“I have struggled every winter with the same thing…the after holiday shock but then it doesn’t leave…and then turns into more. Actually today is supposedly the most depressive day of the year (Christmas bills, cold, tax season coming up, etc). Last winter was the first winter I can remember where I did not get depressed. Praise God! It was awesome and so far it is the same this winter. I read a book that helped me a lot. (Victory over Depression by Bob George). Not that you go read a book and it’s fixed (actually I read it a few years earlier and it made me mad). But God used it to really work in my little heart last year.”

The LBD Dual Significance:

Lamentations 3:21-27: But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.”

The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth.

Apparently my story is not so unique. And apparently this is the season. It’s cold outside and warm inside. So if you’re outside and cold, you probably try to get inside and warm. So I understand. Really I do.

Last week, I believe it was Thursday evening, Daniel and I went to bed late…after midnight. We had just settled in for the night and then heard this noise that caused us both to hold our breath and lift our heads up off the pillow. Then we heard it again. My head starts spinning and my thoughts run wild. We both are “shushing” each others nervous breathing and now audible heartbeats. It stops. We lay our heads back down, thinking it was just an old house noise or wind.

But then, we heard it again and by this point knew something was not right. I’m waiting for Daniel to pull out his hero sword and slay the robber, or wolf, or bear outside our bedroom wall while I’m looking for the Maglight for self protection and backup. I’m hoping my inner adrenaline will make me more powerful than my opposition. I am Woman, Hear me Roar!

Daniel goes outside, nothing. Comes back in, gets back in bed. We hear it again. It sounds like it is right outside our bedroom on the porch. He refuses to get up, so I take that powerful Maglight and get the nerve to go look. Nothing. But there is something. And now deductive reasoning tells us, it is in the wall right by our headboard. Nice.

So, all night long, there was a party in our walls. The scurrying, gnawing, falling, crashing wood kind of party. We maybe slept for 5 minutes while it or they were catching their breath.

Fast forward 5 days later. I didn’t clean the kitchen fully the night before. However, IT helped me out overnight with the crumbs on my counter but left me many, many, many, many nice little surprises behind. Lovely.

So, I called our pest control guy who visits us every month to come with his mad skillz and resources to do away with our new found party animal. We now have some really mean sticky traps in our kitchen floor and some nice poisonous bait in the attic and crawl space. Luckily, I haven’t had to figure out what to do with a live mouse who is stuck in our gooey trap.

The LBD Dual Significance: I’ll spare ya the Life By Design Dual Significance. However, we can definitely pass around some helpful hints. Thanks Paige for the drowning idea. GROSS! Have a great day everyone!

Well, we are already half way through January and I’m just now getting in my first post of 2008. It’s sad really. Especially since it’s been over a month since my last post! Ugh! I really would like to be more consistent in this but I also think God is using other things in my life right now that are more of a priority than blogging. Also, I know there are many of you who are reading this and are not commenting so sometimes I find myself being unmotivated to blog because I don’t think anyone is reading. I am very guilty of this too so I think I’m going to work on this. So, if you are reading, at least give me a shot out comment or “sign your name” or something. Maybe that will motivate me! I also may revamp my blog to be on www.wordpress.com because I won’t have to take up as much space on my own computer. We’ll see!

So I guess I’ll give you the highlights of the last month of my life. The day of my last post was a turning point for me. I haven’t been the same since and I don’t think I will be. I guess that’s a good thing! My perspective has been broadened and I am no longer trying to figure anything out or waiting for something to change. I’m here, as I am, right now, in the moments of life that God gives me. Everything could change tomorrow or it could stay the same forever but I am living and breathing with Him…resting in His perfect sufficiency. Resting. I think I’m finally resting. This is HUGE!

The middle of December took Daniel and I to Texas to see my younger brother Michael graduate from Texas A&M. I like to give him a hard time that I completed in 3 years what took him 6! However, I am really proud of him and know that he gained a great education…not just in college but in life and I praise God for it. We also helped move him and my sister-in-law Erika into their new house in Houston. I’m glad we got to see it because I like to picture where people live when I’m talking to them or thinking about them.

We flew back just in time to make it to Daniel’s Christmas party with The Lampo Group. It was phenomenal as usual! Dave Ramsey sure knows how to do it up right and I am eternally grateful for the ongoing physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional investments he makes into my husband, my family, and to countless people around the world. Thanks Dave!

And wedding bells started ringing too! Daniel’s brother Evan got engaged to the wonderful, amazing, beautiful and talented Kasey Jo! They will get married sometime in May or June and Daniel and I will have the honor of standing with them as a groomsman and bridesmaid in the wedding.

We went to Texas for the Christmas holidays and first stopped in Dallas to visit my older brother Andy, his wife Kristy, and their two sons Westin & Reid. It was really fun to get to see where Andy works, hang out, and play with the boys. After that, we headed on to Lubbock to see the rest of our families. Daniel’s parents are adopting a 13 year old girl named Regina and we got to meet her! It was so awesome to spend time with his new sister as well as everyone else! Daniel’s siblings are one of the things we miss the most and we cherish the time we get to spend with them and always look forward to more. We also spent time with my side of the family and had the most relaxed Christmas that I can remember in a long time. It was really nice. The only bummer is that I did not feel so great most of the time we were there. The West Texas air really attacks my allergies and it got worse the longer I was there. I missed out on some things because of that which was a bummer.

We spent New Year’s in Atlanta and went to the Chick-Fil-A bowl. Daniel had some business there and I was thankful I got to go with him. It was a random, last minute, but fun getaway. The only thing that was missing was good friends to share it with!

Then that brings us into January which means the after holiday shock syndrome and readjusting to normal life. However, I’m back to life, back to reality (anybody with me?) and have spent the past couple of weeks reorganizing the house from the many travels chaos explosion, hanging out with great friends that I haven’t seen in awhile, spending some time with my FSM girls, reading, and hanging out with Daniel. However, I’ve been letting Daniel work on the house by himself in the cold weather. I’m a weeny. The front of our house looks completely different now! Our camera isn’t working or I would show you a picture.

This week, I’ve implemented my first sort of schedule that I’ve had since I’ve been home. It was purposeful at first to not have a schedule at all, and it is purposeful now to have a very loose schedule of sorts. It revolves around cleaning certain things on certain days. That’s it. So far its working but I really should be doing my Thursday floor cleaning at the moment so I need to wrap up.

I’ve also not been a huge resolution person but I also believe the phrase, “If you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time.” So I thought I’d share with you the little mission statement I wrote about this season of life I’m in and really for the rest of my life. It’s my aim and I am depending on God to show me daily how to live it out. I wrote this last April but its still good in 2008 too. Beware, my nerdy, theological, wordy side of my brain was at work when I wrote this.

Emily’s Mission Statement: To glorify God by finding complete satisfaction in Jesus Christ alone through knowing Him by resting in His presence, personal prayer, and saturation of His Word. In knowing Him, I will reflect His image through the life, gifts, skills, talents, time and treasure that he has graciously bestowed on me to influence people (family, friends, the body & the world) for the furtherance of His kingdom.

The LBD Dual Significance: I don’t have it all together. Sometimes after I write a post like this and read it back, I wonder what it looks like through other people’s eyes. I guess that’s why I want your feedback so much because I want to know how others process life and I want to be challenged and sharpened by you.

I used to be a basket case a lot. I would cry at almost anything and I hated it. I realized that part of this was a gift from God in the sensitivity of my spirit and part of it was my own foolishness. As I learned to accept who I was in that, the more I found the truth, and the less I cried at things that were not worthy of my tears.

I think a lot of times I don’t write until after I have processed through the “basket case” areas of my life and sought truth. I am an internal processor and usually withdraw into my misery or withdraw into a search for truth. It’s always a big question of whether I follow my flesh or my spirit in those moments. Because of that though, I wonder if I come across like I have it all together. I just want to be completely honest and be sure you know that I DON’T! I may try and purposefully write during those “basket case” moments in the future just to prove it but just a warning…it isn’t pretty!

I really relate to Solomon on this one too. I’m so glad I have Jesus to lead the way through this life. I would forever live life as a basket case without Him!

Ecclesiastes 7:15-17 In my vain life I have seen everything. There is a righteous man who perishes in his righteousness, and there is a wicked man who prolongs his life in his evildoing. Be not overly righteous, and do not make yourself too wise. Why should you destroy yourself? Be not overly wicked, neither be a fool. Why should you die before your time? It is good that you should take hold of this, and from that withhold not your hand, for the one who fears God shall come out from both of them.