Well it’s about time I update the blog about our crazy November!  The month we had been preparing for was finally here and I felt anxious and excited all at the same time.  Daniel and the team had been working really hard for this out-of-country event and it is always exciting to see it come together.  And we had been working really hard to be out of the country and out of town for an entire month…no easy task.

We finished the Master Bedroom and Daniel was able to get the windows out and drywall and paint in the baby’s room the day before we left for Mexico.  I am so proud of all of his hard work, his mad skillz, and for being the best husband I could ask for!  He was in Portland three days before we left so it was a mad dash to get everything done but when you are leaving town for a month, it’s kind of important to tie up all the loose ends.

After landing in Cancun, we spent the afternoon hanging out in Customs because they did not like some of the equipment we had brought with us.  Thankfully, we both took it in stride and tried to enjoy our time in the airport..hmmm…well, not really…but we did not get frustrated, which was good.  After much negotiation, lots of smiling and trying to buddy-buddy with our guy, lots of questions, some official looking paperwork and our unwillingness to hand over several hundred dollars in cash, they still wouldn’t let us take it with us so we had to leave it behind for the next day and try again.

We arrived at the resort, which was fabulous, and I was really proud of Daniel and the team for picking such a great place.  I had visited another resort with him earlier in the year and loved it but thought the Paridisus was much better suited for Entreleadership.  I know everyone back at the office was giving the team a really hard time for getting to work in Mexico but let me tell you, it was non-stop for 10 days straight.  Of course it was in a beautiful location, with awesome people, and great food, but I only set foot in the pool and beach twice the entire time and I was not even on staff!  It was awesome to serve and help out my husband, the team, and the awesome attendees.  We had a chance to sit down and talk with so many great people, hear amazing stories, and encourage many along the way.

And let me just say, I am amazed at what my husband is a part of each and every day.  What Dave Ramsey shares with these awesome business owners is incredible and the fact that my husband gets to know them, their business, and support them in what God has called them to do is amazing.  It really is a great opportunity and I feel so blessed that God has us here.  We love Nashville, we love Lampo, we love Fellowship, we love our friends and feel like the Lord is using us, growing us, changing us, and that we are right where He wants us to be.

It has been interesting over the last several months, as there have been so many global and national issues overshadowing the truth and peace of Christ, to be in the position that we are in particularly when so many that we love are hurting and struggling in these “tough times”.  I struggled for a few weeks with fighting off guilt for what we were a part of and then realized how stupid that was.  It’s hard though when you care so much for people but at the same time, by feeling that way, I was highlighting earthly problems more than the faithfulness of my Savior and His current leading in our lives.  And to hear from the backbone of the American economy, the small business owner, more times than not how great business has been this year and how they are fighting to win the battle against the naysayer and continue to pursue what God has for them and their business, I cannot help but be optimistic and grateful!  And after this last Sunday’s message from Celestin of ALARM Ministries, I am convicted now more than ever to not let even fear around me overshadow my hope and that the best way I can love others who are hurting and fearful is to be hopeful.  So, if you are one of those people, count me as at least one person who has HOPE and you can borrow mine if you need to for awhile. 

Romans 5:1-5 Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have PEACE with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.  Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this GRACE in which we stand, and we REJOICE in HOPE of the glory of God.  More than that, we REJOICE in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces HOPE, and HOPE does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Here are a few more pics! And a special thanks to Laura & Heather for letting me borrow some super cute maternity clothes for a trip to the Mexican Riviera!  It’s no easy task to have two weeks worth of resort beach maternity clothing in the middle of November and I’m truly grateful for your great taste and your generosity.  It helped me so much to not have to buy a summer maternity wardrobe.

Where will Entreleadership be next November?!?!  I cannot wait to find out!

WARNING:  This was written pretty passionately, sometimes a little preachy, and if you don’t know my heart or you’re easily offended, you may not want to proceed.

So I am not an extremely political person and I struggle sometimes with almost being apathetic because I absolutely cannot stand the rhetoric.  I may not dislike politics as much as the media’s interpretation of it (which is really the only way I stay abreast to anything going on), but I also remember not really loving PolySci in college that much either.  Maybe it was because Daniel and I took it together the semester that we were engaged and I threatened to not marry him because he overslept and missed a test and almost failed the class.  I was being emotional, he was being irresponsible, and we were both better off after that awkward conversation in front of Holden Hall on the Texas Tech campus.

I guess my basic political view (which admittedly is pretty narrow since I don’t spend much time worrying about it), goes back to the idea of Jesus teaching and training his disciples to be fishers of men.  Although this has nothing to do with politics, it has everything to do with what life is all about which affects my worldview, which affects my view on politics.

Matthew 4:18-20 “While walking by the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon (who is called Peter) and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea, for they were fishermen.  And he said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” Immediately they left their nets and followed him.”

Matthew 28:16-20  “Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them.  And when they saw him they worshiped him, but some doubted. And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

So if Jesus taught his disciples to be fishers of men and then commissioned them to go and teach others and share with them the most important news to ever be known on earth, I want to live my life the same way.  I want to be about teaching people the truth, not handing them a free ticket.  I want to be given wisdom by God and then go share it with others, not allow others to just remain in my shadow.  I want to help disciple people into the truth and disciple them in observing the truth, not doing everything for them and wiping away their personal responsibility.  So I want to teach people how to fish, not just give them free fish.  Do you get what I’m saying?  It seems a lot like parenting to me, too, by the way.  We do not do anyone any good by just always meeting their immediate need for them and never helping them learn for themselves.  Or as the Chinese Proverb says: “Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day.  Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.”  So, it’s probably not hard too figure out where I stand politically although I could care less about “party lines.”  It really boils down to the worldview and then the character and integrity of the person being considered.

So this last week, politics are once again at the forefront of our country’s attention particularly as it relates to the economy.  I rarely keep up with any of this kind of stuff but I get the magnitude of this situation and when you add money to the mix, it makes politics that much more…umm crazy.  Of course I get that politics are important and drastically affect the world in which we live but I just do not understand living in fear.  And it seems even more these days that fear is what drives our politics and the American people’s response to our politics is governed by fear.  That is absolutely sickening to me!  Imagine basing every single one of your decisions based upon fear.  You would have no joy, no life, no friends, no peace, no security, no hope…and the list keeps going.  Yet, when it comes to politics, particularly surrounding the economy, we as a nation base almost every decision out of fear and live in a constant spirit of fear.

From what I understand from scripture, there is only ONE thing to fear and that is NOT fear itself, but the Lord God Almighty.  And this fear is that of awe, reverence, and respect…NOT being afraid.  Scripture has a lot to say about it but my favorite is this:

Proverbs 19:23 “The fear of the LORD leads to life: Then one rests content, untouched by trouble.”

Isaiah 41:10 “…fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Now I understand that life is uncertain, that money is a big deal in our world, that jobs, business, college tuition, retirement savings, etc. are important to our way of life and providing for our families, and that bad decisions from the past and irresponsibility do catch up with you and make life difficult.  But, I’m begging you!  Please do not give into fear and allow it to rule your life, your worldview, and every decision that you make!  Life is not over, the sky is not falling, and we are not the center of the universe.  Does anyone remember that we are the wealthiest nation in the world and that most people on this planet struggle to find a crumb and some water at least once a day?  That our HUGE problems are going to be a blip on the radar of eternity.  So, please gain some perspective before making very irrational decisions.  I’m not trying to minimize what is going on.  It is a big deal and to be a good steward of all that God has blessed this nation with, something needs to change and rather quickly I might add.  So I’m not ignorant to the pressing struggles and its massive impact on the world.  But I would rather remember that North is still North, and that the Truth is still the Truth before we all lose our heads and become fools by making foolish decisions.  May I remind you…

Matthew 6:25-24 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Ok, I think I can take a deep breath now.  I need to read this, believe this and live this out just as much as anyone else. I just felt like I needed to get that out.    And now for a little more practicality.  Most people either love Dave Ramsey or hate him and although my husband works for him and we have bought into the common sense that he teaches, I have been especially grateful for his voice in our world this week. As a member of the media, he actually says what he thinks and believes is true rather than playing the political chess or seeking out popularity and just guessing at the next move that Washington is going to make.  And his voice of reason, which as been completely against the fear based decision making, is absolutely refreshing and encouraging.  So, if you have found yourself completely confused, overwhelmed, scared to death or worried about all that is happening on Wall Street and Capital Hill, I encourage you to check out what Dave is saying.  Even if you don’t agree with him, it’s kind of nice to hear “It’s ok” every once in awhile, you know?  Here are a few links to check out if you are interested:

Dave’s Thoughts About the Economy

More from Dave about the economy

TV Show & Radio Show

The Book Of Proverbs (something we all could benefit from reading this month)

So if you read this far, let me know what YOU think.  Thanks for reading!

I had a something very bizarre happen yesterday. Have you ever seen prisoners in your yard before? As in about eight large male prisoners, wearing black and white striped prison garb with orange vests on top of them like construction workers? Well, that is exactly what I found when I came home yesterday afternoon.

I pulled into my driveway thinking that what I saw about 30 yards away from me was the county lawn maintenance crew that I had seen about 6 months before. But as I habitually got out of my car to unlock our gate, I noticed the black and white stripes and that the flashing lights were actually two deputy sheriff vehicles. I kind of flipped a little on the inside and frantically called Daniel (not sure why this was my first thought) while waving at the deputy sheriff closest to me to be sure he was awake and saw me pulling into the safe haven called my home. I pulled up to the house and turned the car off and finally Daniel answered the phone. I told him what was going on and that I guess I just wanted him on the phone while they walked by the house.

I figured out that they were picking up trash along the road but since we had recently cleaned up our section of the road, they had nothing to pick up and thus were looking at my car that had just pulled into the driveway. We had also just finished tearing down the fence that provided the only sense of exterior security and so I suddenly felt vulnerable. I decided to stay put in the car because they were between me and the deputy sheriffs and I didn’t want to attract any extra attention to myself. The movie O Brother, Where Art Thou? suddenly entered my mind and I briefly imagined that George Clooney and his two bandit buddies were trying to escape into the woodsy brush next to our house and used me as a hostage for their escape. Some of you might think that being taken hostage by George Clooney would be exciting, but not in the way I was envisioning it.

I snapped back to reality just as the last prisoner walked by. With Daniel still on the phone, I got out of the car and walked into the house. After telling him goodbye, I looked out the window and thought for a moment about the paradox of wisdom.

Wisdom, the common sense, respect my husband, protect my safety, and in general be wise kind of wisdom told me to act carefully, responsibly, and with caution which is basically what I did. But the loving, do unto others as you would want them to do to you, carpé diem kind of wisdom told me to greet them, thank them for their present service to our community, and share with them that they are loved and have purpose on this earth. I had just read in a book that morning about the crisis of fatherlessness in America and that 85% of prisoners grew up without a father to tell them how to be a responsible adult and leader in their families and communities. So I somehow wanted to communicate that in the brief encounter that I had.

I also thought about how the deputy sheriffs were just sitting in their cars watching these men pick up trash. If I was a prisoner, I would probably hate that, if not hate them. I wouldn’t see that their job was to simply watch me pick up trash and be on guard for a scenario like a young woman driving up to her home or one of my buddies trying to escape. I would think of them more like the coach that didn’t believe in you, made fun of you, made you run tons of lines and laps, all the while sitting on their butt and getting fatter by the day. There would definitely be a lack of respect.

I don’t know anything about those men. They could have been believers, I imagine they had good behavior to get the “privilege” to pick up trash on a beautiful spring day, and I’m sure they have people who love and care about them. But at the same time, I’m not sure I would have changed anything that I did except that in some ways, I wish I had come home an hour later.

I’ve felt similarly to this before when I’ve see a man’s car broken down on the side of the road and I’m by myself in the car. I want to help but it is not “wise” to be a woman alone in a scenario like that. And I agree. Just watch the news for a night. But sometimes I wonder in our everyday lives, when the risk is worth taking. As Christians, we tend to elevate significant risks of faith that make sense to us. As in being missionaries, or being a stay at home mom, or serving in the military. We praise people for the sacrifice they are making, we think they somehow are more spiritual than us, and promise to pray for them.

But what about the everyday life risks? The reaching out to your neighbor, forgiving someone who hurt you, sharing Christ in a conversation, or choosing to stay when running away would be so much easier. Jesus never promised a life of ease and actually spoke a lot about the risks of following Him. Sometimes the paradox of wisdom begs for further examination and questioning of the status quo. So I guess that’s what I’m doing. And I invite you to do the same.

For further reading on wisdom, just spend some time in the book of Proverbs. Or check out these few verses from Proverbs 10:9-14:

Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out. Whoever winks the eye causes trouble, but a babbling fool will come to ruin. The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence. Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses. On the lips of him who has understanding, wisdom is found, but a rod is for the back of him who lacks sense. The wise lay up knowledge, but the mouth of a fool brings ruin near.

Ok, the final part of this crazy long series. Like I said in Part 2, I am very thankful for Nate’s openness in their story and for what God has done in my own heart and story because of it. Here’s my personal story and response to it all.

Emily and I have been friends for over 12 years. We were paired in our student ministry as Big Sister and Little Sister when she was in 7th grade and I was a sophomore in high school. My role was to help her adjust to being in the student ministry and be a friend and someone to talk to when she was there. I loved it and I of course chose her as my little sister because we shared the same name. I knew we would be great friends when our high school girls kidnapped the 7th grade girls really early in the morning and took them to eat at McDonald’s. Her not so lovely demeanor, frustration, and stubbornness about the whole thing won me over. I was the exact same way!

Throughout high school, our relationship developed into not only a deeper discipleship relationship but truly we had a wonderful friendship too. We would have Sonic dates all the time and talk about what God was doing in our hearts and lives, pray together, and as time went on, she began to share what she was struggling with in her fight with CF. I remember one very significant conversation on the phone when the fears of the future, the what ifs, and the whys were very heavy on her heart. As God was working in me to love and disciple her, I knew I was way out of my league. Thankfully, as God was working in me, I truly began to see that in my weakness, and in Emily’s weakness, HE is strong. Her physical struggles were a roller coaster just like the emotional, mental, and spiritual battles she was facing. I was thankful to be there all along the way and walk through life with her. The discipleship relationship really changed places too. Her faith, her journey, her struggles were teaching me more about who Christ is and His love and power than most anything else. And I am forever grateful.

We both married a few years later and were bridesmaids in each others weddings. I don’t have time to tell you the cool God stories in all of this but Jason, Emily’s husband, is such an amazing gift from God for her! Our friendship deepened drastically and although we ended up moving to different cities, we still maintained a very significant friendship. For many seasons, we have talked on the phone daily and if not weekly…something that is hard to maintain in any friendship much less long distance.

Although I rarely use the term “best friend” [because my husband truly is and I don’t like the exclusivity of the term...maybe I hang around high school girls or something ] but Emily is the epitome of what that means. She is the person besides Daniel who knows me best and who I know best and we take advantage of that. With the closeness of friendship, also comes the greater risk. I have realized over the past several years, just how much Emily means to me and how much my life is enriched by her presence in it. I can’t imagine living life without her.

Over the past few years, we have both had many conversations along these lines. When she became pregnant (a perfect gift from God NOT a mistake for not being careful enough), the reality of the risks was daunting. As she dealt with the many, many, many decisions, scenarios, and what ifs, not to mention the physical struggles, my role to pray, encourage, listen, and uphold became joyfully difficult. As God brought her daughter into the world and blessed Emily with the days to raise her, the new struggles of the urgent need for new lungs developed. The urgent need is still there and the wait is on.

How do you walk beside someone who is going through such a thing? How do you acknowledge realities and live in hope without being naive? How do you use words when words seem to fall so short? How do you handle your own fears while trying to help someone else with theirs? How do you hold the gifts that God has given you with an open hand when everything in you screams to keep your fist closed around it? I did not know the answers to any of these questions but somehow, someway God continues to use our friendship in both of our lives for encouragement and support. I love you Em. Beyond all words, I love you, I am eternally grateful for you and your friendship, and my life is forever changed because of you.

The LBD Dual Significance: So wrapping this back around to Nate’s blog, God has used his words and their story to help heal my heart in some ways. Emily is a very private person and her circumstances, although similar to Tricia’s, are different. In riding the roller coaster ride with her through specifically the past three years, there have been many things I have felt, wanted to say or acknowledge, or just been processing that were difficult to communicate because the words just weren’t there or the timing just wasn’t right. It also seems to be that I am far away when something happens rather than my normal two hour drive to her. I missed the birth because we were in Hawaii and seem to always be traveling when she gets a call for the lung transplant. For anyone that has lived similar circumstances, it is so difficult to not be there. It’s not like you can do anything but just to be there is so important. And the fears that I have battled about my own what ifs are much harder to battle when I’m not there. And by not being there in those moments, the emotional journey is somewhat unresolved.

So thanks to Nate being open and vulnerable and sharing his story. But it’s not Nate, it’s Christ in Nate that is doing something incredible. By reading His words, many times, it’s like I am reading my own thoughts from a few years back and able to heal some in the process. I’m also excited to see someone who is walking through circumstances like he is, speak the way he is speaking, even if it is just him processing his thoughts. It is a much needed perspective and reminds me of many conversations that Em and I have.

So these are my thoughts that I am processing related to all of this. I’ve felt pretty jumbled through this whole thing (sorry!) but it is also important to me to get this out there since it has been almost a week since the others have been up. Nobody is perfect this side of heaven and the blogging world will not be perfect either. I’m not expecting that, I’m just working through it in my own life, in my own weaknesses and struggles. And at the end of the day when all is said and done, I go back to 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 and pray that my life would look more like this: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Since I spend a lot of time with teenagers, the online, virtual, myspace/facebook culture is a reality. I think I could get away with staying out of the virtual community at my age but then I would just be uncool. But, working with teenagers forces me to engage it if I want to be apart of their lives and understand the world in which they live. I have also heard many a sermon about the online culture whether its about pornography from the “Big Church” pulpit or about “being real” or simply “being where you are” in a student ministry setting when technology gives them an easy, easy way to never live in the moment.

It seems like almost everything I am hearing the Church discuss has to do with the negativity and the sin that is possible through the virtual world which to me, sends the picture that the Church views online community as almost inherently bad. I think that it is a huge mistake and if all we are talking about is ‘caution’, we are missing a huge cultural change and opportunity. Caution is needed, but so is spiritually intelligent curiosity and exploration.

Major Ian W. Thomas in The Saving Life of Christ writes this in the context of Israel in the old testament: “Let me remind you again that nothing is good or bad by virtue of what it is. It is good or bad only by virtue of its origin…” I didn’t agree with this statement at first until he explained on the next page what he meant by ‘origin’: “…they were unable to discern between the genuinely good, with its origin in God, and the evil in the “good,” which has its origin in Satan.” To me, this perfectly describes the Internet and in some ways perfectly describes the world’s (including the Church) lack of discernment in using this technological marvel. What is so different about the invention of the telephone and the invention of the internet?

Ok, the focus of this post is not just about the internet but about the online communities within. There has been lots of discussion about the virtual world being a place to escape, hide, be someone your not, replace authentic relationships, or live a made up life. Sure, with just the right mix of relational issues, the flesh, and Satan’s schemes, all of these are possible and likely. However, there is just as much potential for encouragement, expression, edification, equipping, and genuine relationship. We have to choose to live in that potential.

2007 was really the first year I joined the virtual community. Of course, I’ve been online ever sense my first juno email account back in the early 90s but never really participated in community outside of checking sites of offline communities I was apart of. I started a blog for personal expression and started a facebook to enter the virtual world of my students. It was also a test to see if the negativity that I have heard from the Church was true in my own experience. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Here is what I have found:
* Most students are extremely real or as real as they are in real life if not more so (yes, even the students and adults for that matter who are taking the sexy pictures and posting party pics.) [Side Note: Do we really want to continue to communicate to the next generation of Christians to put on a facade and cover up your sinful actions/choices so that our Christian family still looks “Christian”? Which then allows “us” to still look good enough to judge the “others” who aren’t covering it up so well? I’m still trying to get this filth out of my own mind and praying that I don’t pass along an ounce of this to my students or, God-willing my kids. Yes, we need to be a witness. Yes, our sin affects the reputation of The Church. But does hiding and lying about it do any good? Does judging do any good?]
* The draw appears to be out of a desire for community rather than an aversion to it
* Students are more connected to the lives of their friends than I ever was and are able to respond quickly and with words rather than just physical touch or a shrug of the shoulders
* The blogging community is powerful for everything I mentioned above and more (encourage, equip, edify, etc)
* Opportunities to stay connected with old friends and to develop new friends (I did say friends…not just an online ‘buddy’) are more easily accessible
* Blogs are books for the 21st century and anyone can be an author
* There is more opportunity to hear what people are thinking about when otherwise, you would never know
* It is a great way to keep up with needs of those around you, to know the latest update to pray for, to get the word out about events and opportunities, and to support causes
* In our revolutionized, 21st century world, it really does provide a “place” for everyone to have their “space” and to have an opportunity to do something with it…at least if you live in the United States. Remember this is written from a little U.S. American perspective, not a third-world country perspective. That’s a whole different post. Maybe a whole different blog!

Here’s my thoughts on discerning the “evil in the good”:
* It is just as easy to be addicted to codependency, seeking affirmation, or keeping relational score in online communities as in offline scenarios
* It is easy to supplement or replace face to face community with virtual (This is what I am most aware of. If I have blogged about it, I have a tendency to not explain myself in person, but cut my conversation short and say “check my blog” when I am really bypassing a valuable face to face opportunity)
* Expressing yourself in text to an unseen audience leaves lots of room for error on both sides. It also takes time to get to know someone virtually whether you knew them previously or not.
* It can rule your life instead of being a resource or a tool
* It can be a replacement for Truth. Instead of reading The Book and seeking The Truth, it can easily become a search for what others think or become “The Book” in their life. I think we will really have to watch this as time goes on and continue to emphasize Christ in you and the supremacy of His Word as The Truth.
* It can be very easy to be a spectator and not a participant which can sometimes lead to an almost reality TV experience. You are not commenting or staying tuned to vote people off an island or off the show, see if Jack gets killed in the next episode, or see who The Bachelor chooses. It is not a soap opera; it is real people, real experiences, real life.
* You can be so moved or inspired by what you read, be so humbled by someone’s faith or circumstances, or be caught up in the deep emotions of someone else that you….do absolutely nothing!…unless you mean that you comment on how horrible their situation is, or how awesome their faith is, or how you will be praying for them because of how much you sympathize with them….instead of allowing Christ to work in you. He is not working in someone else just so you or I can sit and watch.

The LBD Dual Significance: I’m not saying that encouraging others or praying is doing nothing or that reading a blog secretly or often is wrong. I’m just concerned about the “evil in the good” of those who are living vicariously through someone else’s faith rather than their own. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever (Heb 13:8) and His same power and life is available to you and to me. Also, 2 Peter 1:3 “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence…” And that power has been given to us in order to live an amazing faith filled life that glorifies God.

Super Faith Blogger isn’t any better than you, me, or anyone else and we have the same power in Christ to all be Super Faith Bloggers (Or Super Faith Women, Moms, Wives, Husbands, Fathers, Teachers, Friends, etc) with our own God-stories and our journeys of faith. As one of my favorite people says, there are no Varsity Christians, just those that act like there should be. Let’s be sure that our pursuit of knowledge begins with the “knowledge of him who called us to His own glory and excellence” rather than the latest blog post. And let’s have confidence in Christ (IN me! IN you!) and trust that “He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.” (1 John 4:4)

This is my prayer for you (whoever you are) and for me. Thank you that we have LIFE in you Lord Jesus!:

Ephesians 3:14-21: For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

* The count is at one. One mouse got stuck in a gooey trap but after a ferocious battle with the sticky stuff and lots of nibbling at the cardboard underneath, it escaped. No sightings to record.

* I may start drinking milk. My brother-in-law states “Milk keeps me skinny.” He is skinny and probably drinks more milk in a week than I have in my entire life combined. I don’t like milk. My brother was allergic to it and so growing up we had the endure the terrible tragedy of eating dry cereal. After that, my desire for milk diminished all together. But, if it help maintain a healthy weight or good health, I might consider trying to develop a taste for it. For now, I’m sticking with my lowfat vanilla yogurt and lowfat cottage cheese.

* As of yesterday at approximately 6:23 PM, Daniel and I have been married for 6 1/2 years. Yeah! I am amazed at all that God has done in us and through us together as a couple. Since we dated through high school, our half anniversary was a BIG deal, and we’ve kept the tradition a little bit. Halves are my responsibility, Fulls are Daniel’s. We had our first candlelight dinner in our new house last night and had a great time. Don’t watch the movie Waitress on an anniversary though. It is all about an affair and not very marriage affirming. We were hoping Andy Griffith would save the movie with his advice, but his role was very minimal.

* I included a picture of the house to show you a little bit how it is changing. I need to get another page together to show the progress through pictures.

* I’m having to really watch what I’m thinking about during my “get things done” time during the days. A lot of what I am doing has to do with finances, insurance, home improvement & pitfalls, and healthy eating and living and I’ve found myself being highly interested, attentive and concerned about all of these things. I’ve found that since I do not have a “real” job, I have more time to focus on more personal items which is a blessing but I can also see it becoming a curse with just the right twist of Satan and causing me to worry or stress about things (something I haven’t struggled with in awhile). Please pray for me in that. Here’s an example: I read an article about radon gas in homes and how bad it is. I suddenly felt the need to test for this and instantly felt tense about the air I was breathing. This is normally not like me.

* I’m reading a book that is really making me think and has a lot of observations that I have never thought of before about things that I think about a lot. I like that aspect. It is The Saving Life of Christ by Major W. Ian Thomas. The verdict is still out on what I think about the book overall but I’m enjoying the read.

* My foosball playing, Bohemian Rhapsody singing, junior high buddy, Sarah Rachel (sorry, I just outed you!) put a post on her blog about seasonal depression so I thought I would share my comment here and recommend another book:

“I have struggled every winter with the same thing…the after holiday shock but then it doesn’t leave…and then turns into more. Actually today is supposedly the most depressive day of the year (Christmas bills, cold, tax season coming up, etc). Last winter was the first winter I can remember where I did not get depressed. Praise God! It was awesome and so far it is the same this winter. I read a book that helped me a lot. (Victory over Depression by Bob George). Not that you go read a book and it’s fixed (actually I read it a few years earlier and it made me mad). But God used it to really work in my little heart last year.”

The LBD Dual Significance:

Lamentations 3:21-27: But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.”

The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth.

Well, we are already half way through January and I’m just now getting in my first post of 2008. It’s sad really. Especially since it’s been over a month since my last post! Ugh! I really would like to be more consistent in this but I also think God is using other things in my life right now that are more of a priority than blogging. Also, I know there are many of you who are reading this and are not commenting so sometimes I find myself being unmotivated to blog because I don’t think anyone is reading. I am very guilty of this too so I think I’m going to work on this. So, if you are reading, at least give me a shot out comment or “sign your name” or something. Maybe that will motivate me! I also may revamp my blog to be on www.wordpress.com because I won’t have to take up as much space on my own computer. We’ll see!

So I guess I’ll give you the highlights of the last month of my life. The day of my last post was a turning point for me. I haven’t been the same since and I don’t think I will be. I guess that’s a good thing! My perspective has been broadened and I am no longer trying to figure anything out or waiting for something to change. I’m here, as I am, right now, in the moments of life that God gives me. Everything could change tomorrow or it could stay the same forever but I am living and breathing with Him…resting in His perfect sufficiency. Resting. I think I’m finally resting. This is HUGE!

The middle of December took Daniel and I to Texas to see my younger brother Michael graduate from Texas A&M. I like to give him a hard time that I completed in 3 years what took him 6! However, I am really proud of him and know that he gained a great education…not just in college but in life and I praise God for it. We also helped move him and my sister-in-law Erika into their new house in Houston. I’m glad we got to see it because I like to picture where people live when I’m talking to them or thinking about them.

We flew back just in time to make it to Daniel’s Christmas party with The Lampo Group. It was phenomenal as usual! Dave Ramsey sure knows how to do it up right and I am eternally grateful for the ongoing physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional investments he makes into my husband, my family, and to countless people around the world. Thanks Dave!

And wedding bells started ringing too! Daniel’s brother Evan got engaged to the wonderful, amazing, beautiful and talented Kasey Jo! They will get married sometime in May or June and Daniel and I will have the honor of standing with them as a groomsman and bridesmaid in the wedding.

We went to Texas for the Christmas holidays and first stopped in Dallas to visit my older brother Andy, his wife Kristy, and their two sons Westin & Reid. It was really fun to get to see where Andy works, hang out, and play with the boys. After that, we headed on to Lubbock to see the rest of our families. Daniel’s parents are adopting a 13 year old girl named Regina and we got to meet her! It was so awesome to spend time with his new sister as well as everyone else! Daniel’s siblings are one of the things we miss the most and we cherish the time we get to spend with them and always look forward to more. We also spent time with my side of the family and had the most relaxed Christmas that I can remember in a long time. It was really nice. The only bummer is that I did not feel so great most of the time we were there. The West Texas air really attacks my allergies and it got worse the longer I was there. I missed out on some things because of that which was a bummer.

We spent New Year’s in Atlanta and went to the Chick-Fil-A bowl. Daniel had some business there and I was thankful I got to go with him. It was a random, last minute, but fun getaway. The only thing that was missing was good friends to share it with!

Then that brings us into January which means the after holiday shock syndrome and readjusting to normal life. However, I’m back to life, back to reality (anybody with me?) and have spent the past couple of weeks reorganizing the house from the many travels chaos explosion, hanging out with great friends that I haven’t seen in awhile, spending some time with my FSM girls, reading, and hanging out with Daniel. However, I’ve been letting Daniel work on the house by himself in the cold weather. I’m a weeny. The front of our house looks completely different now! Our camera isn’t working or I would show you a picture.

This week, I’ve implemented my first sort of schedule that I’ve had since I’ve been home. It was purposeful at first to not have a schedule at all, and it is purposeful now to have a very loose schedule of sorts. It revolves around cleaning certain things on certain days. That’s it. So far its working but I really should be doing my Thursday floor cleaning at the moment so I need to wrap up.

I’ve also not been a huge resolution person but I also believe the phrase, “If you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time.” So I thought I’d share with you the little mission statement I wrote about this season of life I’m in and really for the rest of my life. It’s my aim and I am depending on God to show me daily how to live it out. I wrote this last April but its still good in 2008 too. Beware, my nerdy, theological, wordy side of my brain was at work when I wrote this.

Emily’s Mission Statement: To glorify God by finding complete satisfaction in Jesus Christ alone through knowing Him by resting in His presence, personal prayer, and saturation of His Word. In knowing Him, I will reflect His image through the life, gifts, skills, talents, time and treasure that he has graciously bestowed on me to influence people (family, friends, the body & the world) for the furtherance of His kingdom.

The LBD Dual Significance: I don’t have it all together. Sometimes after I write a post like this and read it back, I wonder what it looks like through other people’s eyes. I guess that’s why I want your feedback so much because I want to know how others process life and I want to be challenged and sharpened by you.

I used to be a basket case a lot. I would cry at almost anything and I hated it. I realized that part of this was a gift from God in the sensitivity of my spirit and part of it was my own foolishness. As I learned to accept who I was in that, the more I found the truth, and the less I cried at things that were not worthy of my tears.

I think a lot of times I don’t write until after I have processed through the “basket case” areas of my life and sought truth. I am an internal processor and usually withdraw into my misery or withdraw into a search for truth. It’s always a big question of whether I follow my flesh or my spirit in those moments. Because of that though, I wonder if I come across like I have it all together. I just want to be completely honest and be sure you know that I DON’T! I may try and purposefully write during those “basket case” moments in the future just to prove it but just a warning…it isn’t pretty!

I really relate to Solomon on this one too. I’m so glad I have Jesus to lead the way through this life. I would forever live life as a basket case without Him!

Ecclesiastes 7:15-17 In my vain life I have seen everything. There is a righteous man who perishes in his righteousness, and there is a wicked man who prolongs his life in his evildoing. Be not overly righteous, and do not make yourself too wise. Why should you destroy yourself? Be not overly wicked, neither be a fool. Why should you die before your time? It is good that you should take hold of this, and from that withhold not your hand, for the one who fears God shall come out from both of them.

Unknowingly, I ended up making today a solitude day, a respite of sorts, a time alone with my thoughts and my Savior. My soul is restored.

Psalm 23:1-3 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

I have a new appreciation for these verses after reading David Arm’s (my favorite artist besides my father-in-law)thoughts on the “Out of the Ordinary” show on his website. He says the following about the painting “He Restores My Soul”:

“The hummingbird defines perpetual motion. To see one still is almost startling. It looks unnatural. Is it the same for us? For Him to restore our souls, I believe we must be still, be quiet. That is why he leads us to green pastures and still waters – to restore our souls.”

The LBD Dual Significance: God led me to still waters today, to green pastures in my living room. And I believe He revealed a piece of the puzzle regarding this season I am in. Actually, He has been revealing it…through His word, through my husband, through my friends, through the tension I feel. I just now had the eyes, heart and mind to see it….in the stillness.

He has led me out of the fluttering of wings in my life into the stillness. I find it so hard to be still. Oh I can in the moments like today, but in life as a whole…forget it. Yet, my heavenly Father, and my husband for that matter, loves me enough to urge me towards change. Urging me to not want, urging me to lie down, urging me to sit beside quiet waters, restoring my soul. Now, I must follow the path of righteousness…for HIS name’s sake.

To be perfectly blunt, last week sucked. For a brief instant, I thought about being a little more PC and saying ‘last week wasn’t good’ but that phrase doesn’t cut it. It doesn’t have enough intensity to it. It was bad, not because of my what I did or my circumstances, but because of the condition of my heart. Sometimes my sinfulness makes me sick. Literally sick.

Here’s a snapshot from my personal journal. The one I write in by hand for my eyes only. Yeah, that one.

“I have been an emotional wreck. My focus is totally off. I haven’t been spending time in the Word. And I let Satan have a perfect “in”. I let a Christmas tree not fitting where I wanted it throw me off, I let little sugar ants hack me off for interrupting my perfect plan, I let myself get angry with my husband for messing up my day, I let my feelings get hurt because people didn’t fulfill my expectations, and I let myself get frustrated with the God of the universe for not letting life work out the way I wanted it to. Can I be anymore selfish? Can I be focused anymore in the wrong direction?”

What’s crazy in all of this is the battle I feel like I’m fighting. And it’s not a battle to “do” more but to “rest” more. When I say I haven’t spent time in the Word, that is not something on my to do list to check off for my A+ Christian points (which don’t exist), but is the air I breathe, a necessity for resting in His peace and abiding in Him. When I allow it to become a to-do, I allow Satan the perfect entrance into my life to convince me it is just something on my list and then after a brief time, in this case a week, my heart begins to turn. Oh Father, turn my heart to you alone. I need you.

The LBD Dual Significance: I had a very raw conversation with my friend Emily on Friday. She called me in between an emotional breakdown and before I had finished processing through all that I was thinking and feeling. God’s timing is cool in that way but I feel bad for Emily all the same. Our lives and struggles are so very different and any pain that I feel pales in comparison to the pain she feels. Yet, we somehow find common threads in our stories and God uses her life to refine and sharpen mine. Our conversation left me with these thoughts:

Disappointment is a crazy thing. It can either drive you to Jesus, to the cross, to the manger or it can drive you to the wilderness, to the darkness, to the thief who comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I would rather turn to the way that promises…“For nothing is impossible with God” (Luke 1:37) rather than the death and destruction that Satan promises. Just read Job 1 & 2 for a small taste of Satan’s promises.

The question I’m wrestling with is can you be disappointed and content at the same time? Or can you be content and still feel disappointment? In 1 Samuel 22:2 discontentment is likened to “bitter in soul” and I definitely don’t want to be that! I’m processing Philippians 4 in a new light.

Philippians 4:11-13 Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Maybe it’s my outlook on life right now but I really give more credit to the Holy Spirit working in my heart and life to sit here and say, I am more thankful this year than I can ever remember. I don’t necessarily have anything drastically different to be thankful for but for some reason, my mind and heart are focusing on all of the things I have been blessed with and in a very non-cliché way, this is the best Thanksgiving season ever.

Last year I was sick while my parents were here and my excitement to cook the every daunting meal for my parents, dwindled as I lay in bed. This year, I had the company of great friends and family and really enjoyed the day but much more have enjoyed remembering why I have a reason to be thankful and all that God has done in my heart and life and for the people He has blessed me with.

Now before you think that life is just peachy keen and going my way I would like to point out that everything has not been perfect. Even this week, I’ve been fighting the blahs and struggling a bit with how my life looks so different than what I thought it would be and even how I hoped and wanted it to be. I used to believe that if I had a desire or a dream, that God would not have given that to me if He didn’t want me to pursue it, or that He would change my desire completely. I believe that only in light of God’s sovereign reign and plan for my life. I will always desire to have my health, or that Daniel and I can live a long life together, but the truth is, God may choose to work differently but in dependence on Him, He will give me the grace and strength to walk through whatever circumstance I find myself in…whether reaching my dream or goal, or dealing with the loss of a dream.

So, in light of that, I choose to be thankful no matter my circumstances and trust the One who knows my circumstances inside and out.

The LBD Dual Significance: I like the picture above, not the part that shows my damp hair but the part that shows the leaf that is bigger than my head! Maybe its a cheesy analogy but walking that dreary path in Portland (as much as I loved it), was not the best traveled path. It was wet, slick, and kind of gross out. Living life is kind of the same way. Many times it is wet, slick, and gross all around us but if we have the perspective and open eyes, we can see amazing things around us. Like that HUGE leaf! If I was focused on how cold I was or how wet my jeans were or how ugly my hair looked, I might have missed the beautiful trees and this amazing leaf. I really want to live my life with my eyes focused on the big leaves rather than the wet clothes. I have lived the other way around and it is not nearly as cool.

Psalms 95:1-7 Oh come, let us sing to the Lord; let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation! Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise! For the Lord is a great God, and a great King above all gods. In his hand are the depths of the earth; the heights of the mountains are his also. The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land. Oh come, let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the Lord, our Maker! For he is our God, and we are the people of his pasture, and the sheep of his hand.